A Montessori journey for a parent and a child
Happy Friday, everyone.
When I was a young mother, every day felt like navigating a field scattered with hidden parenting landmines. Some days, I’d choose the path that included joyful walks to the park, smiling and happy mealtimes, and a peaceful bath-and-two-books bedtime routine. Other days, it seemed like I couldn’t get anything right. Yesterday’s favorite outfit caused a flood of tears today, the usually cherished sing-along car song would be met with firm refrain of “no”, and normally beloved foods were met with incredulous disdain.
The hard days were hard and if I am being totally honest, they often resulted in a post-dinner run to Target to wander the aisles with a cup of coffee as my sole companion. These late-night trips gave me space and time to pause and reflect on what was going on with my child and how I was responding. I’d think about what happened before the tears started flowing when I suggested wearing the blue striped t-shirt and how things played out differently when I asked a simple question, like “What would you like to wear?” I’d wonder why did eating dinner outside on the back patio result in more relaxed and joyful conversation. I’d reflect upon why eating lunch on the front porch did not have the same outcome.
I felt like a parenting scientist. I was observing and testing and trying to figure out exactly what worked, what didn’t work; what happened before it worked, what happened after it didn’t work; why it worked on Tuesday morning, but not Thursday evening.
And then I found Montessori. I discovered that others were thinking and engaging in a similar approach. There was a maniacal curiosity about individual children. And there was more, too: there was a whole educational program, one fed by decades of curiosity about millions of children.
My daughter joined a Montessori school when she was almost four years old. Two weeks after her first day in a Children’s House classroom, I was told she had mastered all the letter sounds using the sandpaper letters. I wondered, what are those? Her guide shared that was building words using the moveable alphabet. I questioned, is there an immoveable alphabet too? She came home reading her first “Bob book” and I thought, who the heck is Bob?
She was thriving. I was completely intrigued.
Long story short, after a short stint volunteering in the classroom down the hall from my daughter’s beloved environment, I quit my corporate job and enrolled a Montessori certification course. In short succession, in overachiever style, I completed my course work in record time and became a classroom guide. I took my experience with my own child and became a Montessori educator deeply observing to understand what worked well for each and every child. Alongside that, I cared deeply about inspiring parents to be deeply curious in order to become parenting scientists themselves.
My daughter moved on to Montessori Elementary and my own journey shifted when I was recruited to become a teacher trainer and school leader. I then had the opportunity to put my now solid classroom experience in practice with adults who were traveling their own path to becoming excellent classroom guides. My deep observations of children and what worked well (and didn’t) shifted to an intense curiosity of adult learning, development, and management. In the subsequent years, I mentored and supported hundreds of Montessori educators to care deeply both about the child’s classroom experience, but also to embrace every parent as their “lab partner” working together on the most important project ever, their child. The by-product of this work was supporting hundreds of educators and families to also adopt Montessori as a lifestyle.
Meanwhile my daughter wrapped up Montessori Elementary and there was no local Montessori program to attend, so she transitioned to traditional school. Her teachers were amazed at her ability to independently complete her work and ask thoughtful questions only when she needed help. Parents of her classmates would remark to me how kind and articulate she was, how she cared deeply about her classmates. When it was time to do group projects, she’d often play the role of “chief organizer” to divide up roles and responsibilities, guide everyone to care about the details, and stay on track.
When, I’d share that she attended a Montessori school as her foundation with other parents, I was usually met with lots of curious questions and sometimes a refrain of regret for their own children when they’d learn how aligned it all felt to their own values and lifestyle.
Post-Montessori, it struck me how well Montessori prepared her for a more traditional setting. In middle and high school, I didn’t bother to learn how to log in to the parent portal to check grades. My daughter would share about what she was working on, which things she really enjoyed and which things she knew she needed to complete, even when it was clear they were not necessarily a driving passion for her. At the annual parent night, we’d hear about upcoming study of topics and books she’d already covered or read while attending Montessori. She always found something new or deeper to discover in these repeated lessons and re-reads.
Almost six years ago, I discovered the founding team at Higher Ground and started a role working in support of a growing network of Montessori schools and their communities of parents, students, and staff. I instantly knew that I had found fellow travelers, people who cared deeply about understanding each individual child and adult who are on their own journey of embracing a Montessori lifestyle.
Meanwhile, my daughter was finishing up high school and getting ready to head off to college. Just as Montessori helped her excel in middle and high school, so it helped her in college. In the first month, when her friends were struggling with managing the workload, my daughter told me one night, “I said, ‘I look at allthe work I need to accomplish, create a plan, and get started. Would you like to see how I plan?”
In the years prior, I saw lots and lots of excellent academic and social outcomes for my daughter because of her foundation in Montessori. It was at this pivotal moment; however, I fully understood the outcome of a Montessori lifestyle; an efficacious, engaged, hard-working, kind, problem-solving human being. A person who positively impacted the world around her.
Now, I am the mother of a young independent adult who attended a Montessori school and lived a Montessori lifestyle.
Today, that once small almost four-year-old who walked into her first Montessori classroom wearing a backpack that almost toppled her over, now also works at Higher Ground. After graduating college, she joined the team, utilizing her degree in Supply Chain Management as part of our Prepared Environment team. She’s behind the scenes making sure that every classroom has the materials for our students and school teams to be successful. She’s doing important work that is supporting our organization to achieve its mission.
This is what a Montessori child all grown-up looks like. This is the outcome of a Montessori lifestyle.
Have a great weekend,
Jocelyn Scotty
SVP of Schools, Higher Ground Education